Yeah.

Just by means of clarification: I do not live in a hut with dirt floors. However, I do go up into the mountains almost everyday into the homes of people who live with a dirt floor and sometimes I find myself staying there overnight for a few days or a week or two. And if you happened to visit me in Mexico and we came upon such a home without thought, I would say, "This is my friend, so-and so's house." Yeah...they are some of the loveliest people I know. No joke.
But I live in a valley area, which has a population that is rumored to be about 300,000. And has all modern convinces. Well, all but one that I have found....
A guy friend of mine was talking the other day about how hated to wash dishes. And then he asked, "Hey, isn't there something where you come from that is like a washing machine, but it washes dishes?!"
I only laughed.

wait and hope and turn it all

I know. I have not been around very much in this world called blogging. I would love to say that it that it is because I have been extremely busy...and I have been. But that has nothing to do with my absence here.
I have not been here because of what happens when I am here. I write. And always when I write I show my heart. Not saying that I am some amazing profound writer or anything, cause well, I know I am not. In fact most of the time I forget that there are readers out there. A few scant people who sometimes find the words that I write interesting.
But when I write it is for the sake of writing. When I start, I might have a general idea of what it might be about, but have no idea how it is going to shape up. Writing causes me to see things in a light that I had not seen them before. It gives me the time to think about things that I normally would push further down into the depths of my heart, because in just an ordinary moment when I am thinking, there are other, more important, more pressing things to be done. Writing opens me up in ways that few other things can.
And well, as of late, I have not wanted to show my heart. I have not been able to. Sometimes live is just hard. And painful. So very painful. And sometimes I have no idea how to handle it. Especially when it is from the hands of people. You want to react, shout, and cry "This IS NOT right!" I want to criticize, to point out faults, to have my time to speak. But that is not right either. Hence I have not written. Yes this is my place...to say what I think, to bear my heart, to talk about what I want, but I have to remember that no matter what world I am in, I am the daughter of the King....
And so I write to my King and I speak with Him. He knows my heart better than I do....He is the one who shows me what is there. The sin and the shame, yes. But also the creature that He is molding with His very own hands. This King is a man in whom I can trust everything....and so I do. And "He makes all things beautiful in HIS time." So I wait and hope and turn it all to Him.

Upwards and onwards...

I stop. Stand up straight, unfolding my back. I look up to a baby blue sky, shielding my eyes from the sunlight with my hands. Then I look around. So much green. Trees. Rolling Hills. Rocks. Houses dotting the side of the mountains. I look back and in doing so, my eyes wander downward. Down to where I had been, seeing how far and how high I had climbed. I looked forward and upward, not being able to see how far I had left to go. I sigh with a bit of discouragement. The thrill of hiking had long since left and I weariness was slowly taking over my body. The words, "Poco a poco; step by step" ring in my head. "Don't give up keep pressing forward." So I go. Keep climbing. I come across slippery rocks and mud. Both of which make the path unstable and unsure. I watch the feet of the person in front of me, thinking, "Step where they have stepped. Watch to see what is the best way to go." The sun hides behind the clouds and dusk sets in. Soon the person in front of me pulls out a flashlight. I do not have one. They swing hold the light down by their knee, swinging it back and forth, back and forth. In this, the light helps them and me. Now I am walking, only being able to see where I am half of the time, the other half I remember what the light showed me when it was there, repeating to myself, "Never doubt in the darkness what you have seen in the light." Still climbing. Then, without warning, I feel my foot slip, I know I'm going to fall. The hand of the person in front of me reaches back, grabbing my arm, keeping me from falling. They say, "Are you alright?! Don't you worry. I know the way. Hold my hand and you will not fall." I take a deep breath. All is ok. I say a silent prayer. And we continue on.

Oh Lord, how this is the story of my life. Struggling, questioning, reminding myself of precious truths along the way to keep myself going. Enough I say! I am ready for that deep breath that comes with the assurance of a strong hand. Lord I am willing to go where You want me to go and do what You want me to do, but please lead me by the hand. Better yet, carry me upwards and onwards. Further up and further in.

Lyrics.

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

I really should write. I need to write. I enjoy expressing my thoughts through written word. And I like being able to look back at this thing called my blog and see what has happened in my life. Looking back and remembering. Tis grand. But I have been busy and gone from internet access and just do not know where to start up again. So much has happened that I just do not know where to begin. I suppose I will just dive in see where I end up. That's what I normally do anyways. It may not all make sense, but since when do I make perfect sense?

I had the opportunity to stay up in the mountains for a couple of weeks. And I jumped on it. I live in the valley that supports the mountains surrounding it. The missionaries here go up into the mountains six days a week to work with the people there. But some the the places take two or three hours to get to, so sometimes they stay up in the mountains for a week or two to work more closely with the people there. These past few weeks was on the those times. And oh how I enjoyed it. Spending time with these people is always a great joy, but to be with them day in and day out was wonderful....knowing them, learning about their lives, praying and working together. Yes, the language is a barrier, especially because many of them do not speak Spanish, and while my Spanish is progressing, it is far from flawless. It reminded me again how grateful I am for the work of Christ on the cross.....not only is salvation available to all, but the work of the cross breaks through and liberates from any language or cultural barrier.

So I am learning, growing, and loving my Lord. Not always an easy process, but who got us started on thinking "The easier the better"? No, no, no. The blessed the best.

And that's all I got to say folks.

Nerf Wars.

Sarah. Andrew. Caroline. Who do you think won?

Words

There are some words in Spanish that once I have found out what they literally mean, I love them or at least find them intriguing. For example:
Esperar: The verb "to wait" but also the verb "to hope"....to hope is to wait and to wait is to hope.
De nada: How you say "you're welcome" in Spanish, but literally means "of nothing". Like "Don;;t worry about it. It was nothing."
Hacer: The verb for "to do" and also the verb for "to make".... This one I only find interesting. Not sure why.
Lo siento: How you would say "I am sorry" but it literally means "I feel it". Like, "I feel what you are going through. Your pain. It is not just something that you have to deal with alone, I feel it too." It is kinda cheesy, but a common joke here is when someone says that their head hurts, and you say "I feel it" that they respond with, "Yes, but I feel it much more".

There are more, but these are the ones that I could think of off the top of my head.

A view from....

.....a little forgotten corner of the world called Tlazicuapa. I love it.